Grocery Deals and Epic Fails.

$3.00 lobster tails and a brand new crock pot. That's how today's food excursion started.

Riding high off of a few great grocery steals and the itch to get back to cooking, I wanted to get back home to make a pound cake dessert.

The recipe, stemming from my crock pot cookbook (which I will NEVER use again for anything other than soup or stew), called for berries in the middle of the pound cake.

Basic cooking math dictates that when something is in the middle of a dish, especially if it is a cake, the cooking time changes.

Then tell me, stupid Crock Pot cookbook, why you would call for a pound cake to be cooked on high for 1 1/3 hours.

Let's just say, it was a disaster. My pound cake burned on the outside, didn't cook at all on the inside and failed altogether. I didn't even bother trying to save it, it was beyond repair.

Today's saving grace was the lobster tails.

Oh my, thank you ocean life.

Put a frying pan on medium high and add a 1/2 cup of water
Butterfly the lobster tails, pop 'em in, throw a lid on and steam for 8 minutes.

Fire engine red tails with clarified butter and a bit of fettuccine linguine is one helluva meal.

Carb-Loading!

44 degrees in October? What in the what?! This calls for the heavy winter recipes to come out. I usually revel in the fall months for cooking because I get to overuse pumpkin in every possible way, but I will save the pumpkin muffins for a heartier meal suitable for a cold winter’s day in the prime of autumn.

There is one requirement for this dish: you have to channel your inner-kid.
Note: There is little to no health value in this dish, and I’m not even going to begin to count the calories.

Cheesy, Bacony, Carby, Baked Mac n’ Cheese

1 box (1 lb) elbow macaroni (or rigatoni, but elbow usually makes you reminisce from when you were 5)
¾ c. butter1
¼ c. milk
1 c. bread crumbs
2 c. cheese (mozzarella, parmesan or any kind of melty cheese works really well but for this recipe I used Velveeta)
bacon (2 strips is enough, add more if you want to be Paula Deen)
salt
pepper

The steps to heavenly creamy goodness:
1.) Cook the macaroni, usually one cup water to one cup pasta. Bring the water to a boil, add salt if desired. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F

2.) Once macaroni is cooked, drain and set aside. Cook bacon to desired crispiness, medium high for 3 minutes works well

3.) Mix butter, milk, and cheese together in a bakeable dish (glass or ceramic works well), add macaroni. Stir.

4.) Bake at 375 for 20 minutes

5.) After 20 minutes, give the concotion a good stir, sprinkle bread crumbs and bacon on top. Bake for another 20 minutes.

6.) Delight in the gooey-ness, have a glass of milk and don’t forget to eat your vegetables.


Photo Credit: Julia Compton

Quick, Delicious, Easy-to-make PIZZA!

To make yourself a crunchy flatbread pizza of your choosing, take hold of these ingredients and you'll have a personal pizza in 7-10 minutes, for about half the cost of a delivered pizza!

• 1/2 cup of mozzarella
  
• 1/2 cup of parmesan
• 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 7" pizza crust (I use Mama Mary's Thin & Crispy Pizza Crusts)
• 2 tbsp whole milk ricotta
  
• any kind of meat -- pepperoni, salami, panchetta, proscuitto, etc.

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit
2. Brush olive oil on the pizza crust
3. Add cheeses
4. Layer meats with cheeses
5. Add a dollop of ricotta cheese on the pizza
6. cook for 7-10 minutes
   
7. ENJOY!
   

The ratatouille is bubbling...

...due to the scorching summer heat and humidity from the delightful mid-Atlantic seaboard.

And we are back in action, just in time for the new season of Bravo's Top Chef.

After a scintillating summer of Top Chef: Masters, the newest season which takes place in Las Vegas is a bit lackluster.

Top Chef: Masters had the best of the best from a variety of backgrounds. The greatest part of Top Chef: Masters was the twists of using past Top Chef chef-testants (as Bravo calls them) to either judge or help the Master chefs. It was sweet revenge to see some of these Master chefs, who were judges in the past, gulp and perspire in the wake of seeing their judgees become judges.


It may also be a detriment to some of these Master chef's careers. Well, not some, just one. Michael Chiraello from Easy Entertaining on the Food Network appears on his show to be an easy going gentlemen with an affinity for hosting Italian dinner parties. However, on Top Chef: Masters he appeared to be one giant a-hole. Especially while picking past Top Chefs to be his sous-chefs for the second to last challenge. Come on, who pisses off their work force? Undermining these sometimes volatile past Top Chefs could invoke the wrath of their Top Chefy strategy which they all implored so well in many competitions.

Chiraello's attitude aside, it was good to see some old favorites like Ilan (always fit with an unusual pair of glasses), Jamie (the scallop queen from San Fransico), and my personal favorite Fabio (who had many a gaff in his season).

Without fail, Fabio delivered, on cue, a loveable comment about a twist in a buffet challenge: "I sweating like a mountain goat at the beach now."

Awesome.

After this tantilizing episode, my taste buds were waiting for more food porn to grace my senses. But, instead, I was accosted by piercings and throat tattoos. Not that I have anything against piercings and tattoos in general; but when theres a lip septum thing talking about her vice being alcohol and excess next to a pair of ginormously gaged ears talking about her hot-temper...I'm not feeling quite so hungry.

Thankfully, Jennifer Z., her gages, and her throat heart tattoo had to pack their knives and go yesterday. So this season could be potentially awesome. I mean, someone won $15,000 in the quickfire.

Did GE come into some money this season? Where is all this cash coming from?

More scrutinizing personality descriptions and food recaps coming next week.

finals.

the best treat for finals week?

look below:

* 1/2 cup butter
* 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
* 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (I use fat-free)
* 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
* 1 cup peanut butter chip
* 1 cup vanilla chip
* 1 cup broken salted pretzel (thin pretzels are preferable)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Melt butter in 13x9" pan in the oven.
3. Remove from oven and sprinkle graham cracker crumbs over butter.
4. Mix well and press firmly into bottom of pan.
5. Pour condensed milk evenly over crust.
6. Sprinkle chips over condensed milk (each flavor individually, or mix them together in a bowl first).
7. Sprinkle broken pretzels over chips, and press everything down firmly with a spatula or fork.
8. Bake for 25-30 minutes (edges should brown a bit).
9. For best results, cool in pan completely before cutting into bars.

"Call it Education...

It was somewhere in between you gave me some sound advice but I wasn't listening."

So say the Modest Mouse lyrics, which remind me of my Grandma trying to teach me cooking skills as a kid. Alas, being the stubborn and unwilling to learn kid that I was I ignored all my Grandma's wisdom and decades of culinary skills and now I have stooped to learning from food shows.

Alas, in order to save you from the same mistakes that I have made I am here to tell you the top four educational cooking shows!

4. Take Home Chef -- Host Curtis Stone
Why? Because the Aussie hottie "picks up" women in the grocery store and convinces them to "take him home" and cook dinner for their significant other. Its educational because Stone takes the women through the grocery store to pick out quality goods and then demonstrates step-by-step how to prepare and cook a gourment meal. When? varies depending on day/time
Channel? TLC
Grade? B-


3. Good Eats -- Host Alton Brown
Why? If you can take the cheesey nature of the show, Alton Brown can really teach you a technique or two in preparing traditional dishes. Its like Bill Nye the Science Guy meets Home Economics.
When? Monday - Thursday 8pm/7c
Channel? Food Network
Grade? B+

2. Giada at Home -- Host Giada De Laurentiis
Why? Without fail, everyone loves Italian dishes. Giada shows quick and easy ways to make Italian meals ranging from pizza and ravioli to lasagna and swordfish penne. She gives ready pointers as well as mini Italian lessons.
When? new episodes Saturday 1pm and Mondays 4:30pm
Channel? Food Network
Grade? A-

1. Barefoot Contessa -- Host Ina Garten
Why? Her back to basics lessons give the audience hints to all things easy. Garten resides in the Hamptons so her cooking reflects the laid-back atmosphere.
When? new episodes Saturdays 1:30pm and Sundays at 1pm
Channel? Food Network
Grade? A

Happy Easter!

Every year, PEEPS are by far my favorite Easter candy treat.

And, coincidentally, the Washington Post holds a "Peeps Show" contest every year as well.

The outcomes are amusing, I invite you to take a look at the pictures.


There has been some earth-shattering news in the Peeps world this year...

introducing:

The Tulip Peep.

Now, my boyfriend is Dutch and undoubtedly he will fall in love with the Peep Tulip.


What I'm not so sure about is the "mousse Peep." A chocolate peep that is shaped like a bunny.

The question is, why change? Peeps have always been marshmallow and sugar flavored....why add chocolate to the mix!?

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."